Home > A Boatload of Boisterous VOICES, A Field of Poetic VOICES, A Round Table of Fabled VOICES > Sleeping Beauty Left on Plane – by Jerry Ratch

Sleeping Beauty Left on Plane – by Jerry Ratch


Sleeping Beauty was left sleeping on a plane
They tried to wake her but couldn’t
so they locked her in for the night

When she got up in the middle of the night
she was completely disoriented
and staggered up the aisle to the bathroom
to take a pee in a tiny little closet

“Where am I?” she kept whining “Where am I?”
Ordinarily Sleeping Beauty did not whine
so you can understand how extraordinary
the circumstances

After finding herself locked in the plane
she sat down in the pilot’s seat
and began pushing buttons and fondling
the controls

Suddenly the engines fired up
She taxied that puppy out onto the runway
and radioed the control tower
“Control Tower? This is Sleeping Beauty.
Permission to take off?”

“Yeah, right,” was all they said from the tower
They were smoking a giant doobie
because it was the middle of the night
and it seemed like the planet had stopped spinning
Also they thought someone was joking
until Sleeping Beauty powered up and took off

“Okay, May Day, May Day, we got Sleeping Beauty
circling over Manhattan and don’t know
how to get her down! May Day! May Day!”

“Tell her to splash down in the Hudson River,”
said an unknown voice over the intercom
probably her handsome prince in a rowboat below
“It’s been done before. Don’t worry. Piece of cake.
But next time watch out for the Magic Geese.”

copyright © 2010 by Jerry Ratch

  1. May 30, 2010 at 12:50 am

    Quite a clever and witty retake on a fairy tale and history…got a chuckle out of it thanks!

  2. Frank Flash, beat reporter
    May 30, 2010 at 1:03 am

    Dispatch from AP – this just in . . . plane down in the Hudson . . . all onboard survive . . . handsome prince in rowboat tragically drowns trying to save pilot who was safe asleep . . . reporter of story, one Jerry Ratch wins pulitzer for sterling coverage . . .

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